


Hiding in the Shadows of Plain Sight

by Bella_Monoxide



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Secret Desire, Well. You get the picture., hidden pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bella_Monoxide/pseuds/Bella_Monoxide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shane is desperately trying to keep his yearning for Rick a secret from the dark-blonde cop with the cute looks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiding in the Shadows of Plain Sight

**Author's Note:**

> A total novelty for me. As in, a story in which Daryl does not appear. At. All. It feels so weird.

They had spent the bigger part of the evening at a party, celebrating the birth of their co-worker's son, and now Shane felt like he was stuck in that same old situation again.

He pondered on his recurring dilemma as he was helping Rick, his best friend and colleague, to stay upright, after he had drunk more than his usual share.

Thankful that at least Rick was no agressive drunk, Shane still felt sad, since he had gotten no closer to reach the fulfillment of his dreams than he had on any other occasion before. Holding on to Rick, half-listening to him lamenting over his wrecked marriage, Shane let his thoughts wander.

He and Rick had been friends since the first day they met in high school, when Shane was the new kid in town after his family had moved to King County. Rick had even influenced his career, and Shane had ended up in the same program as Rick, both joining the police after their graduation.

It was back then that Shane realised he liked more than one sex, and, at another party, he had confessed that he was bisexual to Rick.

Being the open minded kind of guy he was, Rick had listened to him without condemnation, for which Shane was forever grateful. Especially so since he had told him about this when he had been drunk himself, just like Rick was now.

So, when he had been sober again later the next day and realised just what kind of a confession he had made, Shane had blushed an uncharacteristic shade of red, feeling utterly grateful that Rick had reacted the way he did.

In hindsight, he often wondered if it might have been better for him not to say anything at all. But it was no use, the deed was done, Rick knew about it, though did not treat Shane any different after he had come out to him.

But somewhere down the line of their friendship, Shane could not help but realise that he wished for Rick to be more than his friend and fellow officer – and that was when his life took a turn into the wrong direction.

Because at that point, Rick had already been married to Lori for years, and they had a son together. Heck, Shane thought now as he pushed his fingers through his full, wavy hair, I'm Carl's godparent even, for crying out loud. What the hell am I doing, thinking about his dad like that?

But he could not seem to help it. At first, he had spent all his freetime over in Atlanta, since it was easier to get lost in the anonymity of the big city, trying to get over Rick. He must have fucked every willing twink he met along the way, but eventually came to realise that it did not work at all.

Because every time he saw Rick again after going on a bender, his feelings had been the same.

Strangely, he even felt like he had betrayed the guy somehow, and that was the weirdest part about the whole sad sorry situation he landed himself in by falling for the bearded officer with the dark blonde, curly hair and a pair of eyes so blue, Shane would have sworn they could sparkle.

Shaking himself from his meanderings down memory lane, he realised that Rick had stopped talking. His head leant against Shane's chest, and both his arms were slung around his waist. Shane sighed.

Then, plucking up his courage, he put his right arm around Rick as well and hugged him tight, placing a kiss on top of his head.

That was the moment where Rick looked up at him, his crystal blue eyes wide and appearing a little cross-eyed from all the drinking he had been doing over the course of the evening. "Shane?" He asked, his words just a tad slurred. "Did you even listen to me?"

Shane chuckled. "Yeah, I did. Just zoned out for a minute there." When Rick looked hurt, Shane sighed and continued to explain. "Rick. It's always the same ole story with you. Your marriage is not what it used to be, but Lori and you are staying together because of Carl."

He leaned back against the railings of the porch they had parked themselves on and closed his eyes for a moment. Rick had not moved from where he was, so now there was a wider gap between the two men, though their arms stayed wrapped around each other.

Rick still looked hurt, and Shane felt like finally telling him what he really thought about him and his relationship with Lori, but he could not bring himself to be so harsh to his friend.

After all, he did not know that Shane had discovered at some point in the past that he felt more than friendship towards Rick. "Come on, Rick," he said instead, "you know I'm right. Hell, it's not like you've never said as much yourself."

Shane pinched the bridge of his nose. When he opened his eyes again, he asked "You still gonna come back to my house tonight, though? Or are you so pissed at me now that I have to drive your mopey ass over to Lori, dump you on the sofa to sleep it off?"

"Not pissed off at you, Shane." Rick mumbled, leaning back in. "I dunno," he continued while he placed his head at Shane's shoulder again, "just really hate my life right now."

Shane only hummed as an answer, relinquishing in the feeling of Rick pressed up against himself for just a few more seconds.

"So..?" He prodded Rick after a while, referring to his question about where Rick would spend the night. When Rick looked up at him again, clearly confused, Shane jested "Your house or mine?"

Rick squinted, then answered thoughtfully "You know, Shane, I'm not one of those twinks you told me about, over there in Atlanta."

"I know you're not, Rick," Shane rolled his eyes. "Geez, can't even make a joke when you're drunk."

Rick managed a small smile. "Don't wanna go home tonight," he added, looking sad all over again.

Not going into that, Shane asked if Rick would like to go now, and they made their way inside to tell the newly minted dad goodbye. They went outside again, and Shane helped Rick into his jeep, then rounded the vehicle to get behind the wheel.

One look over at Rick told him that he was struggling with the seat belt, and he leaned over to assist him. Rick, trying to help, always got in the way, and Shane finally lost his cool for a moment. "Rick, stop! We'll spend the rest of our lives in this car if you keep trying to help like this!"

Rick slumped against the passenger seat, and Shane was finally able to secure the seat belt into place. When he looked back up at his friend though, his heart hurt from the sight, as Rick looked utterly lost.

Trying hard to withstand from throwing himself at his friend, hugging him and admitting his feelings to Rick, Shane struggled, when Rick uttered "I just wanna be happy, Shane. That too much to ask?"

At that, Rick looked at Shane with watery blue eyes, and the darker haired cop almost lost it again.

Several efforts of trying hard to reign himself in later, Shane had managed to get into his own seat, putting his seat belt on as well and answered Rick that no, it was not too much to ask, while he started the car and backed out of the lot in front of their co-worker's house.

When they arrived at Shane's house minutes later, Rick had fallen asleep. Shane smiled at how cute he looked as he freed Rick of the seat belt again, then he went to try and get him out of the car and into the house.

Since Shane worked out a lot, he was able to carry Rick the short distance, and when they arrived at his front door, he made to put Rick on his own two feet for a second so he could open the door.

But Rick did not cooperate, being still half asleep, and his head rolled forward onto Shane's broad shoulder once again.

Shane's mind blanked out. He slowly leaned towards Rick until he was just a fraction of an inch away from the side of his neck, just underneath his ear.

Somehow it must have registered on Shane's radar that Rick had still not moved or said anything, but that only made it as far as his subconscious went, as he proceeded to ever so delicately touch his lips to Rick's neck.

An involuntary sigh escaped his throat after that tender kiss, so much like the wings of a butterfly brushing over skin for only a split second.

A split second that had the power to change everything between them, a realisation that only now made it back into Shane's conscious thoughts, and he closed his eyes in mortification over what he had done.

It was then that he realised how Rick had snuggled into his embrace even more, as if he were still totally comfortable, and Shane was officially at a loss as to why that was. The only idea that came to his mind was Rick being much more drunk then he had thought he was, but that could not be it.

Shaking his head to clear it, Shane tried to open the door again, and eventually they made it inside. Feeling very much like he was running on autopilot, Shane lead Rick to the small bathroom downstairs to clean up and brush his teeth, while he went to make up the bed in his guest room.

He then proceeded to go upstairs, getting ready for bed himself, while he kept an ear out for Rick, making sure that he made it out of the bathroom and into bed, just in case he really was more drunk then Shane had thought.

Only when his head hit the pillow did Shane dare to think about what he had done again, and he groaned over his own stupidity. But no matter how often he called himself an idiot under his breath, what was done could not be reversed.

His only shot at avoiding an embarrassing conversation about his feelings, something bad ass officer Shane Walsh was not the least comfortable with in the first place, would be that Rick could not remember that breeze of a kiss when he woke up hung over in the morning.

With his fingers still crossed and hoping for that miracle to happen, Shane eventually dozed off into a light sleep, his dreams filled with images of Rick and himself.

These dreams had become a constant in his life, and he shifted from one side to the other while a feeling of doom pulled at his unconscious mind every time his dream self got any closer to the Rick in those dreams.

Shane woke up with a start what felt like minutes after he fell asleep, but in reality it had been over an hour. Still a bit disoriented, he got out of bed and went to find out what had woken him, when he heard muffled sounds from downstairs.

He hurried to look after Rick and found him bent over the toilet. "Rick," he said to alert his friend to his presence, "you need help?" And he bent down to steady Rick, holding on to his shaking shoulders.

"Boy," Rick mumbled weakly after catching his breath, "that last beer must have been off somehow."

"Sure," Shane chuckled, "I bet that was it." He helped Rick up, and the curly haired cop went to wash his face, still pale around the nose. Shane busied himself with cleaning the toilet while Rick brushed his teeth again.

After getting a glass of water and some aspirin for Rick, Shane re-entered the bathroom and handed them over. When he had taken the pills, Rick chased them down with a few gulps of water as he leant against the doorframe.

Shane, too busy trying to look anywhere but at Rick's bobbing Adam's apple, got startled out of his completely useless attempts of distracting himself from the arousing sight when Rick asked him a question.

"Do you think it might be a good idea to put a bucket next to my bed, just in case..?" Then he giggled, and Shane could not help but smile at Rick. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and said without thinking "Come on, let's tuck you back into bed, huh?"

While Shane was still mentally slapping himself for this blunder, Rick burst into more giggles, and Shane felt as if he had narrowly avoided yet another tight corner he assumedly had talked himself into.

Lying back in his own bed again minutes later, Shane realised that, since Rick did not know about his more than friendly feelings for him, his remark must have sounded merely funny and innocent to Rick.

Thinking back to how cute Rick had looked after he had fallen asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow for the second time that evening, Shane felt a sudden urge to just run back down and into his guest room, wrap the guy he had a crush on what felt like forever into his arms, never to let go again.

Frustrated beyond measure, Shane earnestly considered to just stay awake and watch TV for a while, but eventually, he felt his eyes slowly droop close and sleep creeping up on him.

This time around, he must have reached that deep sleeping cycle everybody talked about all the time at some point, for when he woke again next, daylight was piercing his bedroom curtains that never had fit the window too well in the first place.

But when Shane moved into his house a while back, he just decided that he could not be bothered to go and find new ones, much to the amusement of Rick, who had help him move and told him that Lori would just bite his head off if he would say something like that to her.

Lori. Rick. Shane felt like there was something trying to get through to him from his conscious, but it just did not breach the fog of his still sleep muddled brain.

He turned around to lay on his side – or tried to, at least, cause that was the moment he realised that something was very different from any other time he had woken up in that very bed since he moved into the house.

For there lay Rick, still sound asleep, if the soft snores escaping his nose were any indication, all wrapped up in the sheets he must have dragged upstairs from his bed in the guestroom.

Shane pinched himself in order to make sure that he was not hallucinating, but the image stayed just the same.

He felt torn between jumping out of bed and running into the kitchen to make breakfast, or anything else that would give him an excuse to escape the room and its additional inhabitant; or doing stuff to Rick that would never in a million years be deemed as the things friends did to each other.

"Shane?"

**Author's Note:**

> How did you like it? Please leave a comment with your thoughts.


End file.
